A young man was playing the banjo. I see that I am a beast—I beg your pardon, bête—and an imbecile, and an idiot. Having now fairly got out of Newgate for the second time, with a heart throbbing with exultation, he hastened to make good his escape. Instinctively she knew—some human recollection she had inherited—that she must not disturb him in this man-agony. The boy she had loved was gone. It was the only way to make the monthly bills. I hate to see you spoil yourself with guys like me. Lucy followed. If you can imagine it, I survived it. When I have traversed the streets a houseless wanderer, driven with curses from every door where I have solicited alms, and with blows from every gateway where I have sought shelter,—when I have crept into some deserted building, and stretched my wearied limbs upon a bulk, in the vain hope of repose,—or, worse than all, when, frenzied with want, I have yielded to horrible temptation, and earned a meal in the only way I could earn one,—when I have felt, at times like these, my heart sink within me, I have drank of this drink, and have at once forgotten my cares, my poverty, my guilt. "You dropped this, sir. Don’t try to shield anybody or hide anything. Ruth was inflammable; she would always be flaring up swiftly, in pity, in tenderness, in anger; she would always be answering impulses, without seeking to weigh or to analyse them. She can be of use to me yet. Her aunt was blandly amiable above a certain tremulous undertow, and talked as if to a caller about the alarming spread of marigolds that summer at the end of the garden, a sort of Yellow Peril to all the smaller hardy annuals, while her father brought some papers to table and presented himself as preoccupied with them.
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